Pondering the future, the present, and the past

I sit and question what family means in this day and age.  I look to the past and see how different we are compared to when extended families were the norm and most people lived with 3 or possibly 4 generations under the same roof.  I believe that this way of living together allowed for families to learn respect, support and togetherness in a way we are no longer enjoying.  Of course, there is always a shadow to look at when you are really attentive and being aware, and this is also true with families.  Having this many generations living together may have also allowed for more dysfunction, fear and trauma to occur in a much shorter and more overarching way.  We can ponder that problem during a more serious and less heartwarming post than what I intended during this holiday season.

My family.

I like the way that looks.  A simple sentence and a simple thing.

My family.

That is all there is, in a way, yet there is so much more.  My family includes my father, Michael, my mother, Judy, my sister Stacy, and my brothers, Robert and David.  If you extend it a little farther it also includes my step-father, Phillip and his son, Kody.  If you then extend it farther it includes my aunts and uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews, brother in laws, sister in laws and other people that continue outward into the human race.  Do I include my friends? Do I include my enemies?  Do I include people I have never met?  Do I include people that I will never meet?

I think of the Buddhist belief that we are all tied together and there truly is no self.  There is a classic saying “. . .that if a butterfly chances to flap his wings in Beijing in March, then, by August, hurricane patterns in the Atlantic will be completely different.”  Strangely enough this is often mistaken for Buddhist lore but in reality it was stated by an MIT meteoroligist named Edward Lorenz in 1906.  I find it interesting that science and Buddhism are, like distant families, actually so closely intertwined.

I believe that most of us, at least in the Western World, think of ourselves as more individual and fairly limited to a family connection.  I would suggest otherwise.  I believe that, if we examine families, we are all connected.  If you trace my DNA and your DNA back to a certain point, we all merge at that place.  According to the Christian story of Adam and Eve, all humanity descends from two people.  As we progress scientifically, I am interested to see what science surmises about our genetics and our connections to each other.

I think that is why I’m so fascinated by Buddhist belief and the style of thinking that the Dalai Lama uses.  He said, and I’m paraphrasing here, “If Buddhism has a belief that science is not able to prove incorrect, then we should believe it.  However, if Buddhism has a belief, and science does prove it incorrect, we must discard it and take on a new belief.”  I think this is life affirming and magical.  I look at my past and wonder how much easier life would be if I could just learn, adapt and discard illogical,useless and harmful information and feelings instead of holding onto them and causing damage to myself, others and the universe.  Definitely worth pondering as we start the New Year.